This is a serial, the first part is HERE

Chapter 21: The Eating Habits of Unsavoury Fellows

There were warrens dug into the cake hills, perhaps it was an effort to avoid the sight of marauding skybeings, that and stellar fondue meteorites. Those are a real killer.

Dr. Bones and Miss Fern had stopped as soon as they noticed natives in the distance. Why did they stop? Well, while a creepy skeleton and a potted human-headed plant slotted into a skeleton might not be out of the ordinary in a surprisingly large amount of dimensions, when in the food dimension, its best to appear as food.

…

This may seem like a good way to end up being eaten, after all, food is food, but when everyone is food, well it doesn’t make much odds then does it?

As a dimensional doctor, Dr. Bones was quite prepared for this eventuality! He pulled out two broaches from his spacial darkness. These were made of twisted coppery metal, and had on them a twitching fleshy eye! The eye itself had a iris that shifted endless from one colour to the next.

Miss Fern did not at all like the look of the thing, but thanks to Dr. Bones she knew it was a popular if expensive dimensional artefact, arrogantly called the Ur-Chaotic Chameleon’s eye! It has the power to make a person appear as a native of any given dimension*

*Some dimensions may not work with the Ur-Chaotic Chameleon’s Eye, avoid the perceptive. Effect null in presence of sufficient power or dimensional guardians. Do not lick the eye. Do not poke eye. Do not remove eye from broach. Do not come to us with complaints, we’ll turn you into a new product line if you do!

When Dr. Bones put his on, the eye closed, revealing metal eyelids, with that, Dr.Bones looked like all his bones had been replaced with a cleverly arranged string of wizened sausages. His white coat in turn looked more like it had been cut from a loaf of bread. The broach itself turned into a remarkably stale bun.

“You look quite silly Doctor” Miss Fern commented.

-In a moment you’ll not be better off-

As for Miss Fern, when Dr. Bones affixed the other broach to her, why what was there but a bunch of tortilla-chips arranged in a place of bones, and even a bowl made of tortilla chip for a salad that had tomatoes for eyes. She looked quite tasty really, if you happen to be into grains and vegetables.

“Ah, Doctor! Look between us we have a complete meal!”

-Hm, doubtless whatever attempts to eat us will be as pleased by the idea as you are, now let us move on before something really does decide to make a meal of us!-

So veiled, they braved the gathering of fishers they had spotted at a nearby syrup river, close to the warrens they likely lived in. Lumpen creatures were these fishermen, glittery with sugar-studded hide, and of many different colours. They were jelly tots with arms basically.

“Will this be fine Doctor? They don’t look very savoury”

-I regret that I gave you knowledge of puns-

The arms of these tough jelly tot men were alarmingly muscled however. Their eyes were thick clumps of sugar and their teeth shards of the same. They all wore coats and hats made from the icing of the cake.

As to why they were fishing instead of just lazing about eating the cake of the ground? Well even when you’re a creature that can subsist on cake, it can get very, very boring. That and nutritionally speaking even for jelly tot people, the cake wasn’t that great.

-What ho my Sweet fellows!- Dr. Bones cried in vittlelang, the most common language of the food dimension!

“Hoh, look here boys, we’ve got a little lost link of sausages and a whole salad, why they’re almost a complete meal” A mean looking green tot with a particularly lumpy head said.

The other tots pulled up their fishing poles made of stiff licorice, and grunted in acknowledgement. Then in spite of their absence of legs and indeed any clear method of movement they surrounded Dr. Bones and Miss Fern.

“Hehehe, you know what we do to strangers ’round these parts?”

The tots all sniggered and laughed as they leered at Dr. Bones and Miss Fern.