Chapter 23: The blowing of the ill wind serves no purpose

“I looked them over, this was it, I finally had all the pieces I needed, the possibilities would fall away, leaving only one in the end” Tough Snaps narrated.

The hard baked ginger-bread man was in one of the many rooms of Gildenstan Goldie’s mansion. To his right was Gildenstan himself in his usual jewellery, and to his left was Oranna, plain and simple in a black and white dress.

Before Tough Snaps was a long giltwood table, that is to say a table made from the glittering golden Guilt-trees, which are said to cause particular torment to procrastinators who muck about around them. They also reduce woodcutters who cut them down, and woodworkers who make them into things to tears and long sleepless nights spent staring out a window as the winds howl. Given these properties not many people are eager to cut the trees or work them into tables, chairs or anything else.

“Fitting that at this kind of table, there is one guilty of the murder of Dalbert Bluvert” Tough Snaps said, though he only knew that the table was giltwood because Gildenstan had explained it to him.

Sitting at the table was indeed at least one person guilty of the murder of Dalbert Bluvert. Gordon, Gail, Gilgamush, Glory, Gorm and Gemmask Jee were at the table. Gemmask Jee didn’t have his mask, but Tough Snaps had been kind enough to give the shewpog a paperbag with eyeholes cut in it.

Ramaros had, after some persuasion, been quite cooperative. Tough Snaps now knew that whoever had hired Ramaros had been a woman. Gail or Glory.

“Well, I’m sure that is like super nice, but what you want with all of us? Oh and like what’s with the creepy dude with the bag, and why is Gordy all tied up?” Glory questioned.

“How mean and cold, Glory, You never said something like that about me before, it is the paper bag isn’t it? I asked them to let me wear one of my masks, but they refused” Gemmask explained.

Gilgamush shifted uncomfortably at Gemmask speaking.

*hemhem* Gail squeeked.

“I’d also like to know what this farce is all about”

“MmmhhfphMMMAAAHHHMMPH!” Murmphed Gordon, who was gagged because he wouldn’t stop screaming about Gilgamush, Gildenstan, Golbassy or all three or variant pairings of each participating in conspiracies. It seemed that Gordon had not coped well with the situation at all.

“I’ve a lot of work to do, so I’d like this handled as quickly as possible” Gilgamush said, glancing uncomfortably at Gemmask Jee and sweating a bit.

Gorm Goldie lazily opened an eye. He was balanced between the lip of the table and his chair back, booted pawfeet on the chair and neck on the table. He had started to sit in that manner just to annoy people but it soon just became habit.

“What? Do I have to say something too? Well, fair enough then, Hello Gemmask Jee, wouldn’t have thought to see you here, no idea what your connection with this mess is. No idea at all” He drawled.

“You know this scurrilous person Gorm, hemhem, what am I saying of course you do, since you are a feckless vagrant yourself!” Gail snapped.

Gorm merely smiled and shrugged, then had to scramble to stop himself from suffering an injury, there was a reason most people didn’t sit in chairs as he didn’t.

“Mrrrrppphhh!” implied Gordon.

“I think we all need to calm down, Mr. Snaps will explain everything I’m sure” Gilgamush said.

“Well, like, I should hope so!” Glory huffed.

“I was going to explain everything, but first, I wanted my suspects to come into this room with me, one by one, I had to be sure after all” Tough Snaps explained.

Oranna opened up the door behind Tough Snaps. It was yet another office, Tough Snaps had wondered if Gildenstan had a thing for them, but according to him, the offices were the result of a curse on the mansion. Tough Snaps and Gildenstan went inside.

Gorm was called first. He went in looking smug, he came out looking smugger. He refused to talk about what happened in the room.

The next one called was Gordon, who Oranna helped waddle over to the room. He came out unbound and considerably calmer. He would not tell what happened in the room.

Then was Gemmask Jee. He came out laughing, and refused to explain what he found funny.

The last two were Glory and Gail, both seeming quite worried at this stage.

Glory was called first. She seemed quite relieved when she came out, though she looked suspiciously at everyone else. She would not tell anyone anything either.

Gildenstan and Tough Snaps came out of the room and Oranna closed the door behind them.

Gail looked at the two with confusion.

“Hemhem, why are you not calling me too?”

“I looked at her shocked, I suppose she couldn’t know, there was no need to speak to her in private.” Tough Snaps said.

“W-what do you mean? I demand to know what is going on! What did you tell them!?!” Gail yelled.

“I told the hysterical dame that I knew who the murderer of Dalbert Golbassy was” Tough Snaps said.

“You can come in now” Oranna called out to one of the doors that led to a hallway.

Golbassy stepped in, wearing Habi.

“I knew it!” Gail said “You did it didn’t you, you killed him with a book! Why would you do such a thing Golbassy? Why?”

“I stared at Gail, I asked what she was talking about, Dalbert was murdered with a sword, not a book”

“B-but I saw his body, t-the head” Gail said.

“You couldn’t have, the servants covered Dalbert with a sheet before any of us got there” Gildenstan said.

Oranna spoke up.

“None of that is that important though, because someone hired a nasty guy to murder Golbassy”

“I told Gail that someone was her, the hired hunter remembered her voice and Glory spoke in far too different a way to her” Tough Snaps said.

“I-i just hired the hunter to catch Golbassy and bring her back here! What reason would I have for killing Golbassy, my own sister, how could you say such things!” Gail cried.

“Golbassy is my Heiress” Gildenstan said.

There was a few gasps.

Gemmask Jee however just chuckled.

“I didn’t even know, but you knew, didn’t you?” Golbassy said to Gail.

Gail opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. She hung her snout.

“I can’t do it anymore. Everything is in shambles” She said.

She turned to Gilgamush.

“Why, why aren’t you angry, he just said it, you the golden child, you aren’t the heir, WHY ARE YOU SILENT? I FOUGHT SO HARD FOR YOU, YOU HAD NO IDEA!”

Gail panted heavily. Gilgamush just looked away.

“The little bookworm was going to get it all and you didn’t even know, none of us did. I-i just couldn’t stand it, I had to do something”

“So, when the theft happened, you saw your chance” Gildenstan said.

“I thought I could frame Golbassy for it, but… I wasn’t thinking at all, I hadn’t a clue what I was doing”

“Then Dalbert remembered something” Oranna prompted.

Gail looked at them all, teary eyed.

“I didn’t want to kill him, but he just went on and on, he wouldn’t tell me, he just kept yabbering about this and that, trying to get me to somehow get Tir Flaya in his kitchens. I-i did it as he was leaving for bed. I panicked then, but I thought about how easy it would be to frame Golbassy for it. I snuck into her room and took one of her stupid books”

Glory covered her mouth.

“Why aren’t you angry Gil, why? I got so angry for you, everyone calling you his heir and you didn’t know a thing what Father was planning”

“He isn’t angry because he knew he would never be heir” Gildenstan said coldly.

“What?” asked Gail, quite shaken.

“None of you noticed. To be honest, at the time, that actually hurt a bit, well, Father noticed, but he didn’t say a thing” Gemmask Jee said.

“What are you talking about?” Gorm asked.

“He wasn’t Gilgamush then” Jee said, pointing at Gilgamush.

Gemmask Jee took his paperbag off, he was the spitting image of Gilgamush, or perhaps Gilgamush was the spitting image of him.

“I was, I gave it all up, everything and I gave it to him, I didn’t really expect he’d be able to take my place, but I think he’s done quite well for himself”

Gilgamush smirked.

“Thank you, I only made use of what you laid out for me, former Gilgamush”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” Glory said. “What is going on? I get that Gail murdered Dalbert, that is super messed up by the way, but what is this with Gil, why is there two of him?”

“It isn’t that complicated” Gildenstan said. “The Gilgamush that has been living in this mansion for the past few years isn’t your blood relative. He is not my son, so I will not make him my heir, however brilliant he is.”

Gail gave out a bitter laugh.

“All of it was for nothing then, my anger, my murder, my trying to get Golbassy murdered, it was all pointless! Gilgamush was never going to be heir”

“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have murdered your uncle and tried to get your sister murdered, just saying” said Oranna.

“One more thing bothers me personally. Gail murdered Dalbert, but who stole the genie gem?” Gordon questioned.

It was on Gordon posing that question that the hallway doors burst open.