Chapter 7: The Fortune of Gnargs and the calling of Calleydron

Duppy’s eyes glazed over, and the ill spark in him from the Firelord’s touch faltered.

The stew smelt too good.

He stepped toward the adventurers, his steps jerky and unsteady.

“he’s going to attack!” Kepo wailed

“Defend stew with life” Spongy Snaps said resolutely.

“No, it isn’t worth your life Spongy!” Eadam complained.

“It’s worth the lives of our enemies though!” Ulex said valiantly.

“Weren’t you wanting to end things peaceably Mr. McHeft?” Gheel questioned.

“Sharing is peaceful, stealing isn’t” Ulex declared.

“if stealing isn’t peaceful, we usually call it mugging” Kepo objected.

“No mug for stew! Stew for bowls!” Spongy observed.

The ioll before them did not attack, he did not laugh a villain’s laugh, swinging his mace and declaring “I’ll steal your stew and make a gingerbread carrot cake from you!”

Instead, he collapsed. He was begging. You see, Duppy had a realization.

If he only had the one pot of stew, then the gnargs who didn’t get stew would revolt.

Far above serving the Firelord, Duppy didn’t want to die at the claws of mutinous Gnargs. He didn’t want to die full stop, indeed, this sentiment was what got him into the unfortunate position of service to the Firelord that he was in.

“Please, kind adventurers, share your stew with me and cook some for my hungry troops!”

“Ehhhh? We were getting ready to give you a good beating though?” Ulex objected.

“Mr. McHeft, I must remind you that you were interested in ending this encounter peaceably”

“Ah, yes. Gnargs. Lots of them” Ulex mused, remembering why he didn’t want to fight.

“Spongy takes all”

“This is going to be a lot of stew…” Eadam worried.

“Thank you!” Duppy said, before sitting himself down and taking a bowl out of a satchel on his side, he also retrieved a spork that had been cleverly hidden on the bottom of the bowl. He turned his head to the mass of Gnargs, who didn’t quite know what exactly was going on.

“RIGHT YOU BLOOMING BLUE GUMBALLS, IF YOU WANT TO EAT GET SCAVENGING, THIS HORSE HERE IS GOING TO COOK YOU A MEAL THAT’LL BE THE BEST YOU’LL HAVE IN YOUR SORRY LIVES, SO GET SCAVENGING AND STRIP THE AREA BARE! DIG YOU ENCRUSTATIONS! DIG!”

Duppy gave a sigh of relief as the gnargs scattered and dug through the snow in search of anything even remotely edible.

“You know, you aren’t completely terrible, in spite of being a Cinder of the the Firelord” Gheel observed.

“yeah, not too bad apart from the whole forcing us to make you food thing”

The ioll shook his head. “I’m just trying to survive. As long as you don’t make fires, I don’t think the Firelord cares”

He shivered.

The possibility of conversation died then and Eadam served out the stew, so they ate in silence. The adventurers and the captain of the Firelord. For a moment, Duppy felt warm. What if he captured the horse. What if he press-ganged him into being an army cook.

He looked at Eadam with a glint of gluttony in his eyes.

Nobody noticed it, since they were absorbed in the bliss of eating.

“Gheel, you don’t have a larger pot do you?” Eadam asked.

“When would I have gotten such a thing? Is Mr. Fat such a charitable keflin?”

Duppy waved a hand back and forth.

“Ah, don’t worry about that, the gnargs have a thing we use it for battles, but it also works for cooking”

Well.

That was a vague and mysterious statement.

Naturally, nobody questioned it.

“for their sakes, it had better be hygienic” Kepo said.

Well, almost nobody.

As the adventurers and the captain emptied the pot, the gnargs came back one by one. Each proudly holding the spoils of its efforts. One would have a lump of rock salt, another a herb, fungus or fern, there was of course a constant collection of small animals that hid in the snows of Elcon. Neither bird nor beast escaped the claws and pincers of the gnargs.

The star prizes however, were what was brought by three particular gnargs.

A bunch of prisoms, mushrooms that look as if they were made from glass, highly poisonous when not cooked, to the extent that if you even ate something that had their dust, you’d become a fine crystal statue. They happen to be incredibly sustaining, after eating them, one could survive without food for at least a month. You’d still get hungry though, it is a special kind of suffering to get hunger pains when you don’t even need to eat. The fortune of the gnarg who found them could be said to be quite mixed.

He found the prisoms and brought them back, but he gluttonously and secretly ate one when nobody was watching, not knowing of their danger. Thus, the crevice had a fairly shocked crystal gnarg statue.

The second gnarg had in a manner of speaking brought back a very tasty moss, one that would give one the feeling of having two whole lives. This blue-frost moss, the rare partnering blue-frost moss, had a habit of switching where it was growing to creatures that pass by it. The gnarg had been bumbling around when the moss grew on it. After a prolonged period of hyperventilating, it returned to the crevice where it got the moss sheared from it like wool from a sheep.

The final lucky gnarg had come across a monarch of the skies! A noble among fowl! A shining crescent!

…

A shining crescent!

It is a bird. Not a magical martial skill or the symbol of a fierce army, well, it is probably also those things in a different place, but in Elcon, it happens to be a bird.

…

A bird shaped like a crescent, the bill of which sprouts from the lower point of the crescent. The bird has silvery feathers! Basically it is a deadly fat bird with wondrous powers of light! By the light of the crescent, you will be punished! They would say.

It would really be more dignified if it wasn’t shaped the way it was.

Normally, such a bird would easily defeat a gnarg and feast on the unfortunate minion’s flesh.

Alas, this crescent dug up a big cauldron onion and choked to death trying to eat it. Cauldron onions are large black onions with four prongs on their bottom, they possess innate heat and thus comfortably grow without a care in the cold of Elcon.

They are known for being best paired with all things fowl.

The adventurers and the captain were feeling a bit cheated, as it was looking like the stew for the gnargs would end up being extremely special. Regret, once they were filled with stew, now there was only regret. No, they could only stew in regret now.

“RIGHT YOU… oh bother it all. Call the cauldron, you need it if you want stew” Duppy said.

The gnargs excitedly formed a circle outside of the crevice.

“Call” One began.

“Call”

“Call”

The chants of call picked up a fevered pitch.

“Calleydron”

The vague shape of an azure cauldron appeared in the air. It looked old, and had upon it, the carving of a closed eye.

“CALLEYDRON! CALLEYDRON CALLEYDRON, CALLDEYROOOOOOON!”

Summoning.

This was without a doubt, summoning! The mystic art of lazily relying on the powers of others! The ultimate ability of getting a powerful hand to prop you up. Summoning! A wondrous art that can call forth mere ducks and surpassing beings alike! Reaching across dimensions, continents or just a few feet! Many beings live exclusively as summons, existing in multiple places at the same time, lazing about like slobs when they aren’t summoned. These beings are known as Biddens.

Both hopelessly weak and hopelessly powerful!

These gnargs had the knowledge to summon the living artefact known as Calleydron! It was likely something their particular clan had known about for decades. The cauldron is itself one of those trans-dimensional beings that can be summoned in many places at the same time! Countless people summon it!

…

It really isn’t that hard to summon, most just use it as a high quality cauldron, since it normally has no powers…

Though, it is said that if one can summon Calleydron with its eye open, it possesses awe inspiring power. Truthfully many people manage to get the eye to open up a crack, but that just produces a terrifyingly destructive eyebeam, and while eyebeams have many unconventional uses, there are limits to what you can do.

Speaking of which, the cauldron, the eye of which was pointed right at the crevice began to twitch.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, STOOOOOOP, YOU JUST NEED IT FOR COOKING FOOD, DON’T FIRE THE BEAM!” Duppy screamed, mainly because he was in the line of fire.

“i’m sorry for taking the candy, each time” Kepo whimpered, fainting right after.

“Beam bad” Spongy said grimly.

Gheel had started to dig into the ground, several of his chompers aiding him.

“I can’t flex my way out of this” Ulex said, and sweated though he was a carrot.

Waufronk remained strangely calm and Eadam was also calm, but it was because of depressed resignation towards doom.

Calleydron shuddered and just as a bit of heavy blue light began to shine from the eye, it closed shut once again. Calleydron was fully physical now, and dropped heavily on the ground, sending snow flying up, whirling around. It also sent nearby gnargs flying.

After that, Eadam began to cook.

Everyone was unaware, that drawing closer and closer to them were the scouts of the rhagular army.

The smell of the grand stew being cooked in Calleydron would draw this army down upon them.