Chapter 5: The Arts of Bone, Command and Cooking

“You can’t just flap there all day looking innocent! What do you have to say for yourself, Waufronk?” Ulex asked.

The ex-duke bat slowly landed on the ground and his fish skeletons retreated back inside his coat.

“I believe in this case, you are quite mistaken, I am no necromancer!”

“B-but, you were just doing things with skeleton fish! Dead fish!” Eadam objected.

“Yes, forgive me Mr. Heer, but I am quite certain that those actions are exactly what necromancers do!” Gheel said.

In Elcon, it is not so much that necromancy is an innately evil art, as it is one that makes people extremely uncomfortable, that and it tends not to end well. In particular the Wizard of Death is said to smite those who commit necromancy. Nobody wants to get on the bad side of the Wizard of Death.

There is also the fact that a lot of nasty people happen to be necromancers. Sure, a necromancer might be an ok kind of person, but generally, this isn’t the case. In the land of Elcon, it is one of the few things that can be truly considered unnatural.

Waufronk gave a chuckle, which given the circumstances sounded a bit evil to Ulex and company.

“What I do is quite innocent. I do not interact with the spirits of the dead at all. What I do is merely a form of elaborate puppetry. I am a bonemancer! Bones do my bidding! No necromancy involved what-so-ever!”

“this got you exiled from the great attic didn’t it?” Kepo asked.

Waufronk deflated a bit.

“It is hardly my fault that those councilmen can’t tell the difference between the bone-arts and necromancy, do you know how many people are exiled due to an innocent interest in bones? You wouldn’t abandon an innocent bonemancer out here in the wilds would you?”

Ulex drew Spongy, Eadam and Gheel into a huddle, the began to whisper among themselves occasionally casting a worried look at Waufronk. Finally Ulex seemed to draw a consensus. He stood before Waufronk once more.

“Well, we had a think about it, and we decided that we are fine with your foul arts as long as we aren’t the target of them, welcome aboard again!” Ulex said.

“Bad man, but OUR bad man” Spongy said sagely.

“Your presence is sure to strike terror into the hearts of our foes Mr. Heer” Gheel explained.

“he sure strikes terror into mine” Kepo muttered.

Eadam held his peace apart from despondently neighing a bit.

“It isn’t a foul art… nobody here understands the beauty of bones…” Waufronk said sadly.

Everyone however just ignored him and set to dismantling the dead rhagulars. The bones were nervously offered up to Waufronk, who while still being fairly upset, wasn’t going to reject them.

“Right then, we should get away from here and find somewhere to set up camp” Ulex said.

With that, the went their way, trying to find some shelter amid the snow.

* * * * *

Some time after they had left, there was a pounding of many feet upon the ground and a whole army of rhagulars came sweeping over the snow dunes. Amid them was something that looked quite like a rhagular but it only had one leg. What would have been legs on a rhagular were instead arms, crossed and folded.

A ghinharhal! It was sitting upon the back of one of the rhagulars. The beasts sniffed around where Ulex and company had fought. Clearly the reason that there were six rhagulars on their own was that they were a scouting pack! The rhagulars swarmed the area, obscuring the very snow itself.

An army of rhagulars does not simply hunt regular prey, instead they search out for massive beasts like behemoths, then they attack en-mass, not caring about the casualties! Such is the power of a ghinharhal.

Eventually though the beasts were not terribly smart along with the ghinharhal they figured out that their kin had been slain. They howled as one, and the ghinharhal sent out scouting packs in a number of directions.

* * * * *

Some time after that again, Ulex and company had found a suitable crevice to take shelter. Everyone was relaxing, and a thick cloth had been put over the entrance of the shelter. It was remarkably spacious really. There had once been things growing in the crevice, but there was some evidence that something had utterly devoured whatever there was, going so far as to rip the roots out.

Ulex had planted himself into the ground to get some sustenance.

Waufronk was in one corner of cave, fiddling with the bones of a rhagular as if it was a jigsaw puzzle.

Gheel was as usual mucking about with a chomper.

Spongy Snaps and Kepo, however were looking with anticipation at Eadam.

“what’re you gonna cook tonight eadam?” Kepo asked, excited.

Eadam displayed a long face.

“Well, something with the rhagular meat. We aren’t far enough from the village yet are we? You think we could risk a fire? Or would we draw the attention of a Cinder patrol”

Ulex thought about it.

“Best not to risk it until we are further away. We’ll just have to use the boilstones that Elswipe sold us”

“awww” Kepo was quite sad.

Boilstones were so called because, while they did not give off heat themselves, they make liquids slowly heat up and boil. Sadly they had an averse effect on the taste of anything they were put in. Well, it wasn’t bad if you were the sort of creature that likes sulphur.

They actually come from a beast that can breath scalding fog. The beast in question is the Houfogger. A red furred bulky creature that grazes on things hidden in snow. They have big horns an egg shaped body and head and curious limbs that are covered in horn and act like skis.

“Stupid Firelord” Spongy growled.

“Oh don’t worry Mr. Snaps, we’ll be far enough into the wilds that we can take the risk soon enough” Gheel comforted.

Waufronk paused in his meddling with bones.

“A fire cooked meal. I can barely remember what that tastes like” he mused.

Gheel quickly got the spices, meat and cooking supplies from his mouth (in particular a large brass cauldron) and Eadam began to cook up a simple stew. Spongy snaps diced all the vegetables with his gauntlets. They seemed to most have lumps of mined potato and individual beetroots. Elswipe had given them a lot of beetroots for some reason.

It was a waste to attempt anything other than stew with boilstones. Still Eadam seemed to work magic with spices, sending pinches of various spices in now and then as he stirred, prompting strange reactions in the stew, even causing crackles of strange coloured sparks. The smell kept changing, but it was always changing for the better.

Everyone watched with mouths drooling as Eadam stared into the stew as if he was looking into another world.

Even Ulex who since he was a vegetable didn’t need to eat was getting hungry. Technically only candy and the like would sustain Spongy Snaps, but he had long since gotten seduced by Eadam’s cooking. Waufronk was in tears. He had been reduced to eating raw fish for months.

It was exactly why Gheel and Kepo put up with his moping.

The joyful peace of waiting for a meal was not to last however.

Wuafronk’s ears twitched and he quickly hid the skeleton he was messing with.

“I hear voices, somebody is coming!” he hissed.