Chapter 10: All those heads, and not a reasonable one among them

The Elconic Frost Hydra is distinct in a number of ways from the hydras or even frost hydras in many dimensions. Grunklestins’ Guide to Things You Never Want to Meet rates the elconic frost hydra fairly lowly on its scale of dreadful beings, but that is only due to the other creatures in the volume, the real thing to take away is that it made it into the book at all given how nasty the other entries are.

It isn’t so much that it is an innately evil creature, more that it is a being on the level of a natural disaster. Well, that and a frost hydra that isn’t half-starved is a rarity.

Elconic Frost Hydras begin life as egg filled with growing hydraspawn. Hydraspawn are rather simple serpent like beings, in the case of the frost hydraspawn, covered in uneven scales like lumps and shards of ice. Each hydraspawn has only a single pale eye. They are roughly big enough to swallow a single coneperson whole. The eggs, much to the dismay of any unfortunate to be around a hatching one, contain thousands of hydraspawn.

Frost Hydras and hydraspawn will eat just about anything that is foolish enough to cross their path. Thankfully for elconic denizens, this usually means other hydraspawn and hydras, due to the fact that the frost hydras roam the frozen sea of Elcon, which leads out to the ocean that connects Korund and Elcon. Naturally nothing wants to live near the frost hydras, though there is tales of ships, villages and towns existing inside particularly large specimens.

Hydraspawn, when they have eaten enough will gather together with at least two other hydra spawn and using their ice producing breath, make an ice-cyst. Given time, the Hydraspawn will transform into a full grown and ravenous hydra inside the expanding ice-cyst. The hydra has no tail, possessing four limbs made from the tails of the hydraspawn that joined together.

The last two things that make frost hydras particularly dangerous is that they never stop growing and if one of its heads is chopped off, it will grow two in its place, like many hydras.

Generally though, they are feared for their magical freezing breath.

The hydra lumbering its way up the mountain of no great importance was a massive five headed one, it would not have been able to fit all of Cozzlanga into its belly, but it almost would have. Its heads thrashed about as they got each others way and nipped at each other. It was certainly big enough that it would possibly not notice Lofan and his companions.

Sir Nitup began laughing, large quantities of drool, a veritable river flowing from his pot helmet.

“Ehehehehe! I’ve not had that! I’ve not had frost hydra, not even a nibble! I’ll have it! Try each cut and slice!”

Hammer also began laughing. “I’ve never blown up something that big! Can I blow it up? I want to blow it up!”

Sir Nitup kicked his heels into his gloat and soon he was off toward the hydra. Lofan had no idea what the cook-knight thought he could do. Dookie looked nervously at the leviathan before them.

“I don’t… um, think I can, err, make a bubble that, uh… big”

Lofan was considering how possible it would be to just sneak past it. He wasn’t hopeful, he could feel shudders from the hydras movement while he was on Dookie’s head, though part of that was that Dookie was shaking from fear.

Hammer had, while Lofan was trying to think of a strategy that didn’t result in them being frozen, coaxed a pill or two from a quivering Madog. He had eaten them and locked his now shining brown head into his hoopstick. He began to spin.

Lofan’s planning was dashed to winds as he was distracted by Hammer spinning.

Dookie and Madog’s fear was likewise dashed by the rhythmic spinning of Hammer.

Suddenly Hammer stopped, and it was only by the vanishing manic laughter that Lofan saw that somehow Hammer had released his head, it hurtled towards the hydra.

“why did you do that? we could have sneaked by the hydra” Lofan wailed.

Hammer’s headless body shrugged. Lofan watched in horror as Hammer’s head sailed right into one of the heads of the hyrdas. There was a small explosion on its cheek. Dookie and Hammer fell back as the heads gave forth rumbling roars. For once, Lofan did not keep his hold on Dookie and fell right off her head.

The hydra writhed in anger, spraying ice everywhere, great shards rained from the skies, Dookie raised a bubble around her and Hammer. She failed to notice that she had not caught Lofan in the bubble.

The hydra swung one of its heads around, and spotted the bubble. It trusted forth at Dookie and Hammer, such was the length of its necks that it could cover the distance. Lofan could only watch as the Hydra swallowed the bubble easily into one of its gaping maws.

The head rushed past Lofan.

He was stunned. It had happened so fast. What could he do? He was just a coneman, he couldn’t take down a hydra. Lofan felt the cruel clasp of despair and fear take his heart…

…but Lofan could not except that things would end this way. His mind raced. Dookie and Hammer would still be alive! The bubble would keep them safe! Lofan did not have a plan, he didn’t know what he was doing, what he could do…

…but Lofan would not give up. He grabbed onto the Hydra’s neck as it was lifting off into the air. As the head returned to the front of the body, Lofan laboriously climbed. His vision flashed and burned with the effort and strain on his mental gift. Many creatures would not be able to scale the slippery icy scales of the hydra. Lofan could, because conepeople did not grip things with hands, but with their minds.

Lofan began to hear whispers, or perhaps it was just the winds. Defiance they whispered. Lofan drew strength to from the idea of defiance, he would challenge a hydra. A mere coneman!

Still, Lofan climbed, he was on the back of the hydra head’s neck now, so the strain was lessened. The winds whipped at his small form however, and each movement of the hydra threatened to throw him off. He found himself wondering why there was a frost hydra in the dragon mountains.

Even the frost hydras feared dragons.

He could not piece together any thoughts, and so focused back on climbing the neck. After much huffing, puffing, near losses of consciousness, he reached the head. Lofan could barely see, more he felt like he was seeing more than usual. He was not thinking straight, he was not even thinking curved, his mind felt cubed.

So, he did what seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. He jumped infront of the hydrahead’s eye which was many many times his size. The hydrahead seemed shocked at this sudden appearance. Before it could react, Lofan punched it in the eye. If the roar that the Hydra heads had given before had been loud, this was even louder, and all the worse for Lofan as he was on one of the roaring heads.

Curiously, the whisperwind seemed louder to Lofan. He dreamily held on, as the head thrashed about, but his grip slipped. He fell.

The last thing he saw was a hydrahead, mouth open to catch him. He realised before he blacked out that the head wasn’t coming to catch him, but to bite off the wounded head.