Chapter 1: The Ride of the Pots
A caravamel was being dragged through the snow.
It crashed through the dunes of snow as if it were a boat and the snow a sea, indeed it was not unusual to find snowboats cutting through the snows of Elcon.
This caravamel was more like a tacky red sleigh with some kind of oily brown tarp thrown over the top than a ship or a wagon though. Snow flew off of the tarp as if it wanted nothing to do with it
It probably owed its ability to sail through the snow to the beast of burden that was pulling it along.
That valiant creature was making good time for only having three legs.
It was a twipstrider. A being that naturally has three brown furred legs that end in paws. The body of the twipstrider is a green scaly lumpen thing, and in general the closer it is to having a single large hump, the higher quality the beast is.
Of course, being from a small village mostly nobody knew about, it was really lumpy, but without a single hump.
The face of the twipstrider is an unlovable one, a squished and depressed ball, and dominated as many elconic creatures’ faces are, with nose that has large flaring nostrils and aggressively bristling nose hairs.
A twipstrider’s most well known attribute is that its rear-end is, rather than flesh, hard brownish always crumbling stone! Thus a twipstrider has another name, but it isn’t appropriate for polite company.
In terms of temperament twipstriders are quite docile, though as with many of such beasts, terrible when roused, many a brigand has met an unfortunate and embarrassing end at the weight of the twipstrider’s rear-end.
This particular twipstrider was smaller than average and without a hump, but still it pulled bravely and moved swiftly.
If anyone knowledgeable about such beasts had been watching they would have been filled with a covetous spirit!
Sadly the only ones watching where the three owners of the beast.
“I spy with my little eye something beginning with S” A older male’s voice said.
“You know dear, that joke wasn’t funny the first time in time it was said, to say nothing of you saying it now” This was a woman’s voice.
“I’ve a much better joke” a young man’s voice sounded out.
“No you don’t” both the man and woman objected at once.
“You never let me tell jokes” the young one grumbled.
“Son, I now it is hard to accept that your… ‘jokes’ are a deadly weapon, but it is thanks to that we can keep doing this job, you make your granddaddy proud” the father said.
“Forget him, he’s dead! You make me proud son!” the mother said.
“Why can’t I remember grandad?”
“Well… granddad kept trying to tell you jokes” the father explained again.
“Hubby, you just made his eyes glaze over again, I keep telling you he refuses to remember”
There was a heavy sigh.
What were these three people, this family? Well if you looked within the caravamel you would have seen three pots.
…
Upside down that is.
One of the pots was a brassy metal, one a ceramic with many coloured clouds across a white background. The last far larger than the other two and just looked like simple unpainted clay.
Poking out from each of the pots were six ridged and pointed finger-like things. The cloudy pot’s ones were gripping the reins.
The brassy pot tilted and out popped a face.
“We’re making quite good time this trip” the son said.
It was a ridged black thing that you could have easily mistaken for a mask. It was a bit feline with drooping whiskers that twitched more like antenna than what they were.
Circling around this mask, like the petals of a grumpy sunflower was a ragged dark mane.
These denizens were a family of frulids. A creature with plump and vulnerable fruit-like body along with their mask-like face and insect leg-like fingers. They actually only possess two limbs, but given the nature of their fingers they get by.
Not exactly the swiftest of elconic denizens though.
Normally, they unlike some do not possess any special abilities, unless you count being tasty and refreshing as one.
Please remember that eating people is bad, even if they do taste really nice.
Of course given this state of tastiness, frulids seal their bodies within pots or jars or basically anything they can use to stop the smell getting out and provoking denizens to lose their senses to hunger.
Though, honestly you don’t need to be a frulid to be eaten by bandits. The bandits just need to want to eat you and towards the edges of Elcon, that was a fairly common thing.
Speaking of bandits…
The father frulid wobbled and shuddered!
“I can sense them Ismi! Bandits!” He wailed.
“Keep calm Yerdl! Kejo, get ready to belt out a few ‘jokes'” Ismi ordered.
She pulled on the rein and fully hid in her pot. Yerdl had long since retracted even his fingers.
Only Kejo was left to nervously look about.
Then the bandits came cresting over the snow dunes in their ship, wildly whooping as they went.
Fluttering on the mast of the ship was a black flag.
…
“Aren’t these actually pirates dad?” Kejo asked.
“That doesn’t matter son! Just knock them out!” Yerdl yelled.
“Pirates have to be on the sea dear”
“They are on a ship though” Kejo mused.
In the midst of that argument, the ship sailed in alongside the caravamel and tossed their anchor out. This resulted in some angry yelling as someone had forgotten to keep the chain attached to the anchor.
Kejo however was lost in thought.
“Excuse me good… er, ill fellows! But are you pirates or bandits?”
The sounds of movement aboard the ship ceased and there was angry muttering.
“Pirate!” “Bandit!”
Two crowds shouted out at once.
The was the sounds of a violent struggle, but Kejo waited patiently.
Ismi and Yerdl had both popped their heads out in amazement.
After a while, the sounds of fighting died down and an extremely bedraggled wolf who looked like he was a pirate leaned over the side of the ship. He had a hat, peg leg and even a colourful bird on his shoulder.
“We’re bandits ok! Now prepare to be boarded” he said.
“Just do it Kejo” Ismi and Yerdl commanded at the sight of this spectacle.
Kejo smiled at the pira… bandits as his parents retreated back into their pots.
“Hey, do you want to hear a joke?” He asked.