Chapter 8: The Last Supper of Dalbert Bluvert

There was one unnerving thing about the food laid out before the Goldie family and Tough Snaps.

All the dishes were arranged in the form of various beasts in spite of the fact that they were all non-meat foodstuffs. The most impressive was the cucumber and carrot horned serpent, which was stuffed with peppers that were in turn stuffed with some spicy grains, but the assortment of stuffed boiled cabbages made to look like cooked birds were quite good too. Oranna of course knew the reason, it was because the cook, Tir Flaya was applying her methods from cooking meat, she said she couldn’t possibly cook something that didn’t look like a creature. Oranna however did not know why pretty much everything that was served was stuffed with something.

The food set before Tough Snaps was a little different. Gingerbread folks cannot eat regular food, they live on confectioneries, candy and the like. Not only do they live off these things, but they cannot heal their bodies without them, but on the other hand, a gingerbread person can easily get back a leg or an arm just by eating cake. In fact, as long as a Gingerbread being has their mouth intact they can regenerate the rest of their body.

Tough Snaps was a little off put by his potential meal. In a basket before his bowl was a rather lovely baker’s dozen of gingerbread men and women, they weren’t live ones and had never been so, but it was going to be a bit mentally disturbing eating them. He was considering not eating them at all.

He could at least get his fill of the legendary Honey Drink, the main produce of Elcon’s Honey Factory. A miraculous drink that invigorates the spirit and body, made from chocolate ice from the chocolate river of Elcon, honey, milk and a few other things nobody is sure about. Supposedly even beings not native to Elcon can subsist solely on the Honey Drink for a few months before suffering horribly.

“I decided now was a good time to take a look around the room and get a good look at Golds’ kids in a more natural setting. Nobody was talking yet either, each and every one of them stuffing their faces like they’ve been starving for days” Tough Snaps began muttering.

“Almost couldn’t see the gilded walls behind all the stuffed animal heads and paintings, Gordon was probably responsible for all the dead animals, but the paintings were probably just bought, Golds was definitely really wealthy. Man those animals were something fierce, I thought I had seen more fangs, tusks and teeth generally there than I would in my whole life”

Nobody could hear Tough Snaps’ muttering over the sounds of everyone devouring the meal.

“What really drew my attention was the blade at one end of the room, behind Golds himself, didn’t know what to make of it, but I got the feeling it had seen more adventure than I had” Tough Snaps murmured.

It was a purple triangular blade about as long as a shewpog was high, with wisps of something rising off of it, the hilt and grip were part of the metal of the blade, these were wrapped with some manner of dark strips.

Then as Tough Snaps was trying to not look at his meal, the eating slowed down and the members of Goldie’s family began talking more. The subject was unsurprisingly about the current events. Tough Snaps had trouble following who said what, as the shewpogs were a bit of a gold blur to him.

“I think whoever did it was one of the elders, to make us youngers look bad” said one shewpog.

“Don’t be silly, it was clearly one of the servants!”

“It was obviously the nia…” That shewpog went silent, remembering how Gildenstan felt about the Niard.

“Well, it was probably just Golbassy” Snaps recognised that voice, it was Gilgamush.

“What do you think Mr. Snaps?” Asked Glory.

Tough Snaps cast his gaze over the assembled shewpogs, vainly hoping he would get some kind of reaction from one of them with what he was going to say.

“I told them that I thought the key to the case was who stole the key… and when” he said.

Gildenstan Goldie seemed quite interested that Tough Snaps put his answer that way. A few more accusations where flung around, each shewpog wondering where the other had been before the meal of the previous day. Tough Snaps caught a worried glance from Golbassy.

The bickering was ended by a smug “Ahem” from Dalbert Bluvert.

“I would like to announce that I have remembered something!”

Nobody reacted.

“I mean about the theft!” He blustered.

Chatter broke out across the table and even among the servants.

He stood quite smugly not saying anything more. Gildenstan slammed down the tankard he had been quaffing from to silence everyone.

“Care to tell me, what you have remembered brother-in-law?” He said quite tersely.

If anything Dalbert became even smugger.

“I think I won’t” he said, his being becoming more smugness than he was a shewpog.

A look of fury came across Gildenstan’s face.

“Tell me now, brother-in-law” He demanded.

Dalbert stumbled from his seat and quailed behind his wife Kyat. Her swirling drill like locks of hair actually did a good job of hiding him. She didn’t look at all pleased to be between Gildenstan and the object of his displeasure though.

“I-i will, I-i will, just tomorrow ok? I tell you all tomorrow morning, I just need to be sure I’ve not misremembered!”

Gildenstan was not at all pleased, he did however accept this.

He spoke to Tough Snaps.

“I’m afraid the results of your deductions will also have to wait” He said, then he stormed off.

The chatter didn’t survive long after though everyone was curious as to what Dalbert could have remembered. As it turned out though, they never found out. In the morning Dalbert was found dead on the dining room table. It was no longer just about a theft.